The Jason Voorhees/Michael Myers Yaoi Hentai Doujin

Well… Happy Halloween.

I figured everyone deserves a special treat for Halloween and that’s why I decided to bring you the pure, unadulterated joy of watching two horror movie titans do what only two horror movie titans can do: Have consensual gay sex.

So hey, if you’re a fan of Friday the 13th or the Halloween series, then this is going be right up your alley. And Jason’s. Oh! And before I start, there’s an already translated one with Jason and Leatherface. That’s right, there’s more than one. Wewlad.

John Carpenter’s dream, realized.

Let’s get the specs out of the way first. I have no choice is a 2018 book by Kaidou Kana, a delightfully western-horror-obsessed artist who’s also dabbled a bit in Fate Grand Order stuff and even down a Dead By Daylight doujin. So, let’s explore forbidden love, I guess.

The cover and first splash are ya boi Michael Myers giving the babysitter a good knifing. Only Jason is the babysitter and the knife is a penis. So pretty much exactly the plot of Halloween III: Season of the Witch, if I am remembering it correctly. But let’s not stop and enjoy the roses, we’ve got plot to understand.

Michael fucks.

Jason and Michael Myers find themselves in the curious situation– we’ve all been there– of being trapped in a room where you’re not allowed to leave until you have sex. Wouldn’t you know it? Jigsaw, that prankster… I think it’s Jigsaw, has struck again! Unless it’s not Jigsaw. But it is. Anyway, Jason is upset. Immediately balking at the rules, he grabs Jigsaw, who has been stabbed and is definitely dying (he’s not), by the lapels and demands to know why it’s sex and not killing. Killing people who are basically immortal is going to take forever. Jigsaw knows this. He’s seen Freddy versus Jason.

Jason, still not happy, suggests that neither he nor Michael have anything to do with sex at all. They’re not even interested. Ahaha… ha.. ha… Michael, uh… he’s not giving the reaction Jason expected. Michael fucks.

How those teenagers felt.

Jason’s not buying it. He starts explaining what sex is. You know? When a man and a woman embrace… and there’s not even any women here, Michael. Just these three manly dudes with cool overalls. It’s okay, Michael understands. That said, Jason wants to get home, so he instructs Michael to take off his pants. Michael does and, with MUCH smoother skin than I expected of a psychotic murderer, gives Jason the hand shandy of a lifetime. Already better than Jason X.

Michael asks if that’s good enough. Jigsaw gives him the ol’ “no can do.” No butthole unlocking, no door unlocking. Jigsaw hands over some lube because he’s always prepared. Jason assumes he’s about to become the head of a human centipede and is shocked to find out he’s not entirely far off as Michael pours the lube right onto party city.

The man is on task.

Michael is a thoughtful guy so he goes in with the fingers first, Jason still not understanding exactly where this is going. Clearly his mom skipped out on the sex ed. This brings us to easily the most focused Michael Myers has ever been without Laurie Strode involved.

Mikey double taps the prostate and gets Jason rock hard and then, I’m not making this up, Jason suddenly has girl tits for the next two pages.

I really have no idea why, but.. you know, we’re this far in, why question it now?

The luscious tits of a murderous hockey enthusiast.

Michael unzips and hotdogs with Jason’s curiously shiny bubble butt. He was not previously depicted as being a sexually mature woman, but maybe I missed a page somewhere. After a few rubs for effect, Michael gets to work.

What happens after this is easily the most romantic depiction of two psychopaths fucking that I think the world is ever likely to bear witness to. Jesus, it’s downright wholesome watching Michael Myers lay pipe in Jason Voorhees. And on the list of sentences I never thought I’d ever write, that one is definitely top five at least.

Love is over.

The romance concludes and Jigsaw congratulates them on clearing the game, while Jason is left in an oversexed heap in the corner and Michael, confident man about town that he is, struts away to… I guess go kill some teenagers.

What a thrill ride. I definitely recommend checking out the other one wherein Leatherface and Jason are locked in a cop’s basement. And, honestly, I’d be remiss if I didn’t leave you with the spookiest scene in possibly all of the wide world of doujinshi. And that’s the beautiful sight of Jason Voorhees experiencing the ecstasy he’s always so rightly deserved.

You can’t look at the page down there and tell me it doesn’t warm your heart. Just like Halloween should.

 

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Alright, rule 34 has now evolved into a theory. I’ve checked with scientists around the world and they all concur.

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