So, I got a few mails. A good start, but they sucked, except for one, and it will be answered now in the first installment of Ask Onii-chan. This first question is one that I think a lot of us will identify with:
How can I get my Japanese live in girlfriend to accept that I love oppai hentai??
She was vehemently opposed to 2D hentai-art when we started seeing each other so I dropped it but now im sick of sneaking a glimpse of a 2D breast on the side.
Certainly this is a painfully rough first question to ask, but I will accept this trial by fire and do my best!
I think the first thing we need to establish here is that the milage on this answer will vary from woman to woman and their own ability to be rational about what it is that you’re telling them. It is important that you have good communication in the relationship already and that you don’t feel uncomfortable having a serious discussion about the subject. Not ‘sex talk with Daddy’ serious, but an objective sort of debate. Clearly, the answer here is not “I WILL WANK MY CRANK TO THIS 2D BITCH AND THAT’S THAT” or you will be sleeping outside or worse.
So, moving on to the steps of a possible solution here: Firstly, it’s important to sort of familiarize her with the subject matter. Being as she’s Japanese, there’s a fair chance she knows part of the score. This is both good and bad as she may already have ideas about the sort of people who like hentai. The important part in this early sort of stage is going to be differentiating yourself from the perverts on the train every day. You want to give her context. The best idea here, I think, would be to sort of casually browse boards you know have some scantily dressed ladies that don’t go overboard. It’s a good defense tactic as you’re NOT looking at porn, but it can also be a way to open up conversation.
The main conversational point here is going to be “Why are you into that 2D crap anyway?” to which you can have a few replies, but this is why it needs to be sort of a debate. I’d recommend countering with a question to get the heat off of you and steer it into an actual conversation. Ask her what she finds so repulsive about it or what have you and lead into things about the baseline of male nature that sort of unconsciously draws us towards things that are specifically patterned to represent the ideal female form, or really most any female form. (Sorry ladies, it’s true.) Making assertions about females in this space is going to be risky and you’ll likely want to bite your tongue about any of it. Seriously, don’t be manly. “Manly” men don’t watch anything animated. I checked.
Anyway, moving on from this point, it sort of becomes a time thing. Just keep browsing and logically explain your case to her. Now, you may want to adopt my ideology about 2D which has helped me with girls more than once. Allow me to explain:
In my own time of enjoying 2D girls and anime and hentai and finding their females to be utterly entrancing at times, I have come to realize that what I like and look for in a 2D girl comes from a drastically different area of my brain than does that for 3D girls. They are not one in the same, and it’s something that girls can be very sensitive about as they may feel like the 2D girls are cutting into your passion for them. If this is the case, then you ARE wrong, and you should just be single. Seriously. If it is indeed like my case, you will find that the ability to enjoy, without fear of reprisal, your erotic 2D of choice can, in fact, ENHANCE your libido towards your significant other. I know it might seem weird to the ladies, but guys know what I mean. While women often see hentai as a replacement, it is more often a safe way to fulfill desires that 3D women simply CAN NEVER fulfill due to the rather static nature of the human form. I think that this release helps men to then properly concentrate on the ideals that we chose our 3D partner for without the hindrance of having 2D fetishism on the brain.
Again, this might vary from guy to guy, but I think it is a fairly common thing among 2D fans. We do love the 3D women we have for who and what they are, but there is a simple fact there that we do not find ONLY those women to be attractive. Personally, if I get the release of my 2D fetishes then I don’t much care for 3D women other than the one I am currently with, and it serves, in my mind, to highlight the reasons that I chose her. But back to the topic.
Hopefully that stuff I said up there rings a bit true, as it will give you the bulk of your reassuring discourse to hand to your girlfriend. Again, milage may vary, and don’t expect a magic bullet. These things take time, of course. However, let me be VERY clear that if you are just wanting 2D women to the point that you are neglecting your girlfriend, then you have some problems that aren’t very likely to be sorted out with talking and you should maybe start looking for someone who lights up your life in a way that 2D is something you enjoy, but the same rings true for your girlfriend.
And no, there is no girl pretty enough to make 2D not matter. Like I said before, this isn’t something we just decide to like. It’s something that arouses us on a very base level, and always will. The girl we are with doesn’t matter, it’s as much a part of the life of a hentai lover as cars or “normal” porn are to the football playing macho men.
Let me do a quick rundown of all of that again just to cover things concisely, as well as hit some other short points:
- Differentiate yourself from the common pervert. Remind her that you are you and not a train groper.
- It takes time and patience. You can’t rush a woman to understanding this idea. Just be calm and intelligent about it.
- If you are not properly tending to your girlfriend, RECONSIDER YOUR RELATIONSHIP.
- Understand your own enjoyment of hentai so that you can better explain it to her, since she hates it to begin with.
- If she gets mad, DO NOT get angry with her. This is your own thing and it’s not something she HAS to be comfortable with, especially right away.
- Avoid sexist (against women, man.) comments at all costs. It will make the entirely wrong argument.
- Don’t just drop the bomb on her. You HAVE to ease this idea in if she hates it to begin with.
- Lastly, be extremely happy that you aren’t into loli or futanari, because that shit is an uphill battle, even as hentai goes. Seriously.
So there you go. I’ve done my best to answer this one without personally knowing your girlfriend. You need to ease in THE ENTIRE hentai idea and then if oppai comes up in conversation, you need to be ready to explain what it is about it. The soft look, the subtle curves, the depiction of pale skin next to the nipple and of course all the sorts of things you can think of. Be matter of fact and don’t catch a nose bleed while describing it. It’ll make you seem like a lecherous old man.
I hope this has helped out, and if it didn’t explicitly, I hope it has at least given you some ideas to consider when starting the discussion. If not, my apologies. Thanks for the great question to start off what I hope will be a great new feature of the site. Please feel free to comment and add your own experiences as that shit is fun. YOU KNOW?
Anyone can ask Onii-chan anything. Just drop him a line via the Ask Onii-chan contact page and he will either answer the question to you directly, or will post it up on the site for everyone to see… minus personal information, of course. This paragraph was written by Onii-chan in the third person. He feels sort of dirty now.