Well… this one doesn’t go quite so well. That’s what happens when you take a random, generally crappy hentai and try to make something gold out of it. I mean, fuck sake, who wants to watch 26 minutes of people talking about nothing?! Fuck sake.

Ah well. It’s good times. Let’s make out instead of watching this. It’ll be way more fun.

  Onii-chan Theatre: I Really Should Watch These First (111.2 MiB, 16,455 hits)

Well, it’s about time there was another Onii-chan Theatre. So it stands to reason that your loving Onii-chan would fuck it up.

Ah well! He’s found himself a plenty quick way to make them now that doesn’t take as long, so good news there, eh? So yeah. I hope you guys enjoy this one. It’s important! IMPORTANT, DAMNIT! It contains life lessons and all that sort of shit. Okay, that’s really all I’ve got.

  Onii-chan Theatre: When You See The Dragon (87.4 MiB, 10,013 hits)

Holy cuntfucks! It’s a new Onii-chan Theatre! I bet you guys peed a little! I know I did. I peed so fucking hard. Well enough bullshit from me, let’s get into this fucking thing. It’s about crazy lesbians who eat kids or something. Fucked if I know.

WAIT! One more thing. … … Not really. Watch the video.

OH RIGHT! Small note, it seems to get with in Media Player Classic (for me at least) so if it doesn’t work in that… just watch it in something else.

  Onii-chan Theatre: Very Little Cooking For A Cooking Show (155.0 MiB, 12,619 hits)

Well, well, well. I bet if you don’t follow me on twitter then you didn’t see this coming. You kids have probably been hungry for one of these for a little while now and since I’m a fat lazy doucher, I’ve been holding out on you. WELL NOW YOU GOT WHAT YOU WANT! Oh man, what a bunch of crap this one is. It’s clearly brain melting stuff. But hey, everybody loves milk and it does a body good so maybe that helped counteract it.

I don’t know why I feel the need to do two paragraphs for these descriptions, but I do, damnit. Just go with it. And if you’re a good little girl, I promise I’ll play with your nipples just like you like.

OH! And I moved to a new podcasting plugin, if there’s a problem, please do let me know in the comments or something.

  Onii-chan Theatre: There's Not A Cabinet Big Enough (183.0 MiB, 16,484 hits)

Holy hell, I actually did something I said I was going to do. Shocking. But enough about that! I know a lot of you cool kids are in school, and a lot of you have probably had to take out student loans to pay your way through. As such, you should take this episode as a stern warning. It shows the bitter truth of what happens to people who don’t repay their student loans in a timely manner.

Also it shows fucking. Mostly fucking.

  Onii-chan Theatre: They Are Serious About Student Loan Repayment (192.6 MiB, 12,760 hits)

Well, this time I actually took a recommendation for a Theatre suggestion because it sounded sufficiently crappy and comedic and I think the outcome was favorable. But that’s not really for me to decide, now is it?! IS IT?! That said, please don’t start bombarding me with suggestions. Chances are you will be among the many who have sent me recommendations for shows like Mahou Shoujo Ai, Famiresu Senshi Purin, or other shows that at either fairly good or are obvious parodies. There are reasons these won’t be funny, but explaining them to you wouldn’t matter.

BUT LET’S NOT BICKER AND ARGUE ABOUT WHO KILLED WHOM! Let’s watch me make fun of some terrible pornography. Ready?! GO! Oh, and the futa has nothing to do with the anime. I just liked the picture.

  Onii-chan Theatre: A Different Sort Of Pop-o-Matic Trouble (174.4 MiB, 13,754 hits)

Some of you might have been hoping for a podcast. You are aberrant forces in the world and no one likes you as a result. The rest of you will be happy that it’s an Onii-chan Threatre because it makes sure you at least get boobies to look at.

But I’ve had about enough of these cold stereotypes about my work! Why should I have to reduce myself to watching smut to entertain people? That’s why this week, we’ll be watching a wholesome film about family values in the home and positive interactions between sibling pairs. I think it will be both educational and entertaining. Edutaining, if you will. So I shouldn’t like to keep you waiting for what will surely be a fun filled romp. So enjoy. Oh, opening bit might be a little loud. And for that I apologize. Microphone issue.

  Onii-chan Threatre: An Accurate Portrayal of Family Life (168.7 MiB, 10,813 hits)

I’d always wondered about that… but now I know.

Where have I been, you ask? Well, a couple of things. I’ve been working on putting together a publishing company, I had a week full of family interference, and it goes on and on and on. Life does that to you sometimes. Oh well! I’m back, motherfuckers (and brotherfuckers), and I will try to get back to regular updating, but as shit moves forward with the publishing stuff, I might be strapped for time.

But that’s fine, right? Because if I am not making videos, at least I’m making SOMETHING. And it’ll be something you can give me money for. BUT ENOUGH ABOUT THAT! There’s a new episode of Onii-chan Theatre and it’s chock full of zombies. Not really, but yeah. It’s probably not that funny, but that’s fine because fuck it was hot in my apartment while I was making it and honestly, the episode wasn’t as ridiculous or varied as I’d hoped it would be. Enjoy it or else. Oh and I’m working on an eroge. That’s fun.

  Onii-chan Theatre: So Zombies CAN Still Get It Up (130.3 MiB, 7,600 hits)

Lots of good references this time. WHAT DO I REFERENCE?! YOU WILL JUST HAVE TO WATCH AND SEE! So… what did you guys do this week? Nothing? Yeah, me either. Worked on the ol’ business plan. Been a decent week so far. BUT ENOUGH ABOUT THAT! You guys want to hear about porn, don’t you? Of course you do.

This week we’re watching Heartwork. Yeah, it’s as awesome as it sounds. Okay, actually it’s nothing like it sounds. How they came up with that title for this show… no clue. BUT WHATEVER! Sometimes you just gotta go all out and do some Heartwork. WATCH IT!

  Onii-chan Theatre: Is It Premature If It Happens Every Time? (137.5 MiB, 9,937 hits)

Well, fans of shounen manga should have a pretty good idea about where we’re going with today’s episode. Yep. Train rape. And bread. They go together like… uhh… you know… train rape… and bread. But enough about that, let’s talk about you. What’s your sign? Do you come here often? Show us your tits.

Ok, ok. I’m really getting lazy with these openings, but what do you expect from me? I already work one a day a week on this fucking site, how am I supposed to do more than that? I CAN’T, GOD DAMNIT! I JUST CANT! Now watch this hilarious internets video before I come over there and MAKE you finish those peas.

  Onii-chan Theatre: Yakitate!! Train Rape (119.4 MiB, 9,465 hits)