Well, this time I actually took a recommendation for a Theatre suggestion because it sounded sufficiently crappy and comedic and I think the outcome was favorable. But that’s not really for me to decide, now is it?! IS IT?! That said, please don’t start bombarding me with suggestions. Chances are you will be among the many who have sent me recommendations for shows like Mahou Shoujo Ai, Famiresu Senshi Purin, or other shows that at either fairly good or are obvious parodies. There are reasons these won’t be funny, but explaining them to you wouldn’t matter.
BUT LET’S NOT BICKER AND ARGUE ABOUT WHO KILLED WHOM! Let’s watch me make fun of some terrible pornography. Ready?! GO! Oh, and the futa has nothing to do with the anime. I just liked the picture.
Onii-chan Theatre: A Different Sort Of Pop-o-Matic Trouble (174.4 MiB, 14,154 hits)
Okay, first podcast in two months and the size shows it. Plenty of great questions and a review of Icarus Publishing’s Cheerful Eros Project led to an sexy good time for the whole family. I cover a wide variety of subjects in this week’s Ask Onii-chan section and it ends up taking like an hour to cover all the stuff you guys sent over the past two months. But hey! Since I am back on top of things, please do send more questions.
Anyway, this podcast was fun times, so I hope you guys enjoy it as well. Well! That’s enough chit-chat. It’s get it going.
UPDATE: Having talked with Simon, he made it clear that the changes made to the book were made out of fear of reprisal from the US government and it’s army of fluttering sphincters. The people to blame for these edits are the US government and prudes everywhere. I’d honestly say the best thing you can do is buy the damn book. Help keep people who are willing to publish eromanga in English in business so we have someone to help in the fight against censorship.
I mean it earnestly, guys. We love this stuff and it’s not something that makes people a lot of money. I can promise you they love it just as much as we do. Actually, they probably love it more. Especially Simon. He’s a huge pervert. So PLEASE, buy his books and support civil rights organizations like the ACLU and CBLDF.
Some of you might have been hoping for a podcast. You are aberrant forces in the world and no one likes you as a result. The rest of you will be happy that it’s an Onii-chan Threatre because it makes sure you at least get boobies to look at.
But I’ve had about enough of these cold stereotypes about my work! Why should I have to reduce myself to watching smut to entertain people? That’s why this week, we’ll be watching a wholesome film about family values in the home and positive interactions between sibling pairs. I think it will be both educational and entertaining. Edutaining, if you will. So I shouldn’t like to keep you waiting for what will surely be a fun filled romp. So enjoy. Oh, opening bit might be a little loud. And for that I apologize. Microphone issue.
Onii-chan Threatre: An Accurate Portrayal of Family Life (168.7 MiB, 11,198 hits)
Since AnimeVice lost my favorite person, I’m reposting this here. You guys will probably enjoy it more anyway. Kids these days.
Why are people after my precious forms of Japanese pornography? Why do they so desperately want to do away with the things that I love?
Well, there’s a number of reasons and I’m going to lay a number of them out for you now. Unless you stopped reading after I brought up my penis. But really, the porn brought up my penis. Awww yeah. Ok, that’s enough of that shit.
While lots of women, and a few insanely religious men, are opposed to regular old double-penetration and barely-legal teen gangbangs, a damn sight more people are quick to judge anything that wanders into the two-dimensional realm.
Now, we’re talking about Japanese 2D porn here. People think Kim Possible porn is weird because the show is for kids so people apply an amount of innocence to the characters that they didn’t necessarily ask for. As for Japanese ero art, the problem is one of familiarity.
By and large, the Western world is fairly insular and, by nature of the Judaic religions, also carries a great deal of shame and denial as relates to sexual gratification. That is to say, women put their fingers inside their vaginas, but talking about it is taboo because there’s a lot of shame attached (among other things, I’m working against the clock here).
Anyway, that combination of insularity and the inability to openly enjoy things that are sexually gratifying makes for a fairly potent reaction to something that is both borne of a foreign culture and sexually gratifying.
That might require a bit of explanation: I know there are some Europeans reading this and thinking “Hey! I’m pretty worldly,” but the fact of the matter is that you likely know less about Japanese culture than you know about ancient Greece or Egypt. That’s a pretty bold statement, I know. But it’s backed up on a daily basis when well-known bloggers who shall remain nameless make blatantly incorrect statements about a country in which they live.
It’s human nature, though. We strive for familiarity because it’s the only way we can feel comfortable. People stay in rut jobs and shitty relationships because they’re familiar. So take the fire of a completely foreign culture (no Judaic dogma, chopsticks, etc.) and throw fuel on it in the form of boobies, it sends simple minded people into a spiral of discomfort so twisting they can only start screaming for the government to make it all better for them. It’s a sad case.
While the overarching theme here is that the Judaic (we’re talking all spin offs here, not just Judaism) mindset has led to a lot of sexual shame, it doesn’t so much describe societal reactions to 2D porn so much as it explains the underlying reason people act the way they do.
The other elephant in the room is mainstream society. While pornography in and of itself is fairly mainstream, 2D porn is seen as something for nerds, weirdos, rapists, and pedophiles. Why is that?
Well, in a way it ties back to the first point about familiarity. Subcultures are, by their very nature, unfamiliar territory for the mass populace. This is one place that those of us who love the stuff which makes us all juicy aren’t doing ourselves any favors.
Yes, I am talking to you, socially inept, fat, odorous weirdo. Stop standing in the corner and breathing heavily. Will it change the stigma behind admitting that you look at 2D porn? No, not really. But it will go a long way towards making your local reactions a lot more favorable.
But that’s not the whole thing. Subcultures always have the stereotypes that go along with them. If you’re in a frat, people think you probably say bro a lot and think the shocker is the greatest sexual maneuver yet invented. If you’re black, people think you steal things. If you’re an anime nerd, you are obviously socially inept, fat, and probably scratch yourself more often than you should.
That’s sort of the problem. When you tie that anime nerd stereotype together with the pornography aspect, the person you’ve just mentioned 2D pronography to will immediately picture you as a greasy fat guy pulling one off over weird porn of girls with pink hair and a school uniform.
Too many people present an image that lends itself to that. Or they’re quick to get defensive when people think they’re fucked up for what they choose to rosin up their bow with. This is the WRONG way to go about things, kids. Believe me.
So what do you do? Act insanely casual about it. The problem here is that YOU need to be comfortable with it to act casual about it. This requires introspection. You need to know better than any person why you like the things you do. You need to understand your own sexuality. They will likely want to know because, well, who wouldn’t be curious about a guy who is so comfortable with something so insanely foreign to them? Maybe it’s not as weird as it sounds, they’ll think.
I’d briefly considered making this about the perfect setup for masturbating, but I have to leave you guys wanting, so instead I’ll give some suggestions of things you can consider, regardless of which side of the 2D porn divide you’re on.
We’ll start with the pro-hentai kids. As I said above, you need to know why you like the things you do. This sort of introspection can be applied to anything and it’s really a generally good way to grow as a person. People might be bothered that I say that in relation to porn, but they’re just shortsighted prudes anyway.
So how does one go about realizing what they like? Well, it’ll sound a bit odd and complicated, but no one picks up a guitar and knows all the chords, so shut up. You have to learn to think objectively about yourself, pretty much. Again, I know it sounds odd, but it’s helpful stuff. When you’re watching your favorite porn, you’ll notice the things that cause your brain to feel just a little bit warmer or more aroused or more relaxed or satisfied. This will likely be different things in different people, but you have to learn to recognize it for what it is if you ever hope to put words to the feelings you get from watching your eroanime. Was it the expression on the face of a girl? The detail put into the backs of a characters knees? The slight squeak that guy let out as the other guy ran up inside his choco-tube? Realize those things and remember them.
A lot of you might jump to the conclusion that this is apt to make you enjoy the porn less, but I’ve found the reaction to be somewhat the opposite. When you see those things you love, you feel closer to the eroticism. More satisfied and comfortable. It’s good times.
Now, for you haters out there. Well, maybe not haters. But skeptics. I’ll point you back to the beginning of the post. Familiarity. How familiar are you with the subject matter? How many eroanime have you watched? How many eromanga have you read? It’s something of a theme on my own site, but I’ll say it here, the more you look at something erotic, the more apt your mind is to pick up on the erotic nature. It’ll do it whether you want it to your not.
And that’s my second point. A lot of the repulsion regarding pornography stems from a lack of willingness to fully allow oneself to take part in the experience. You might consider going in with an open mind, actively looking for things you might like rather than shutting your mind off and assuming you will hate everything you see. Be honest with yourself. And remember, just because the porn you’re looking at doesn’t have anything that turns you on, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. Eroanime and eromanga span all genres and fetishes. If there’s something you think you’d like to see, it’s out there, I can promise you that.
Now, boys and girls, go put something in yourself. It’ll make you feel better.
Well, I felt like I’d gone long enough without answering the questions I had sitting in my inbox, so now you guys get to deal with me answering a few questions. But it’s not all bland, I talk about incest and go into a blind rage while insulting Christianity at the same time as I give historical reasons why it’s all bullshit and they need to give the fun holidays back to the pagans they seemed so happy to burn all those years ago.
But hey, don’t take my word for it. Click the listening method of your choice and GET FUNKAY OMIGAHD. And if you have any sort of random question, feel free to send me an e-mail via the Ask Onii-chan link up top. YEAH!
Well how’s that title for a reference no one will get until they go look it up on the Google Machine. It’s ok though. I know at least a couple of you will pretend you got it without looking it up. It’s the way of the intertron. I won’t judge you harshly, I promise.
Ok, I will judge you harshly, but that’s hardly the point. Here we are with episode eight of nine. Just one more on the morrow and we’ll be done with this insane trail of ridiculous mockery. And life will go on and the children will run wild in the streets and we’ll get back to a slightly more sane schedule. There’ll be a podcast next weekend or maybe around Thursday in which I will be reviewing Read Me! and answering any questions I’ve gotten. LOOK FORWARD TO IT!
Onii-chan Theatre: Burke-tan's Semi-Landed Gentry (121.9 MiB, 6,965 hits)
Well here we are again… but you knew that already. If you didn’t… that’s… how are you reading this? Are you made of magic?! Whatever. I promised cross-dressing ballerinas and by gumption I’m going to give you… cross-dressing gymnasts. Close enough, right? Yeah, I thought so too. So close that a motherfucker is apt to get them mixed up when casually mentioning it on another episode of this very show.
Oh well. Try to enjoy it. Also, I couldn’t remember the Japanese name while recording but it’s Shintaisou [Shin] and it’s based on a pretty decent eroge, if you’re wondering why it’s in that category. That and it’s there because I put it there! Don’t ask so many fucking questions!
Onii-chan Theatre: Floor Exercise Means Exactly What You Think (124.8 MiB, 7,034 hits)
Episode two of nine of my run for the glory of Odin. That’s right, kids. He knows when you are sleeping… and he’ll kill you if you fuck with him. Much like the protagonist in tonight’s somewhat unsettling episode of Onii-chan Theatre. He seemed like such a nice boy at the beginning, if a little eager to fuck strangers… usually when I get an e-mail from a stranger it involves them asking for my bank account information in one way or another and very rarely leads to sex of any sort… which is sort of a let down, if I’m honest. Here’s hoping one of those 31 girls who read the site warm to the idea one day… ok, not really. I’m sure they’re all diseased and hateful beings. At least… that makes me feel better about the neglect.
Right! On with the show. Oh and I upped the bitrate on the video a bit, let me know if you notice an improvement. I didn’t see much of one, so I might just drop it back down. But let me know since I didn’t watch the whole thing.
Onii-chan Theatre: No Real Family Resemblance (174.4 MiB, 4,658 hits)
Hello all you perverts and pervettes! Ah who am I kidding, no girls read this blog. Anyway – I’m Jeremy, but you can call me Mischif, and I’m a new writer for Onii-chan no Ecchi! I’ve been lurking here and there for about six months or so, commenting every now and again, and when Randall sent out a call for new contributors, I jumped all over it. Now I’m here, and I hope you don’t mind if I write some stuff for you guys.
Anyway, I was wracking my brain trying to think of something really nice to write about, and in the end I decided to take a page from Randall’s book and snark about something, and it just so happened that I managed to come across two doujins that are prime and ready to be snarked – to hold onto something as we delve into what I’m going to call “Mischif no Snark”.