And believe me it does. Another catchup Ask Onii-chan thing. How’s that feel, ladies? Feel good? Like sexy muscles rippling just beneath the thin shirt that’s struggling to contain them? Yeaaaah, “romance.” Right, I’m off track already. Most of this podcast is me rambling on about shit MOST people don’t care about but since I am a terribly interested person, I make it terribly interesting. Also I hit on everything that sent me an e-mail that seemed remotely like a girl. I’m just that classy.
SO YOU GUYS ENJOY IT! And maybe, just maybe– IF YOU’RE GOOD– I will do an Onii-chan Theatre this weekend. Maybe.
Welp, today the “Cartoons Have Feelings Too” law went into effect in the UK.
Yep. Loli is officially illegal in the UK. Will anyone in the UK actually stand up and do anything to try to fix it? Nope. But then it yet remains unclear how the law will be enforced, so it’s possible that much like the US law, it just sits around waiting for people to have child porn… so we’ll see.
The normal set of links incoming. Support these folks.
And I guess Liberty in the UK.
If you only care about anime sort of stuff check out Yes to Freedom. Don’t know how much they actually get done though. Haha.
I’ll have a new Onii-chan Theatre later this week. Been busy with stuff.
Well here we are again… but you knew that already. If you didn’t… that’s… how are you reading this? Are you made of magic?! Whatever. I promised cross-dressing ballerinas and by gumption I’m going to give you… cross-dressing gymnasts. Close enough, right? Yeah, I thought so too. So close that a motherfucker is apt to get them mixed up when casually mentioning it on another episode of this very show.
Oh well. Try to enjoy it. Also, I couldn’t remember the Japanese name while recording but it’s Shintaisou [Shin] and it’s based on a pretty decent eroge, if you’re wondering why it’s in that category. That and it’s there because I put it there! Don’t ask so many fucking questions!
Onii-chan Theatre: Floor Exercise Means Exactly What You Think (124.8 MiB, 6,924 hits)
Right! About time I got this motherfucking post up. I really don’t even know where to start in describing this one. I ramble on for another hour and it’s fun times for all involved! EXCITING! Yep, I talked to the people at AX and I have some fun news about all that, but more or less it’s a run down of all the information I think you guys might have wanted to know from Anime Expo. PLEASE TO BE ENJOYING!
All of you eroge fans out there… you should know just how awesome this is just be reading the title. The news might be a bit delayed because I was busy… you know… researching… stuff… like BlazBlue. But still, JAST announced in Friday at their panel that they’d be releasing AT LEAST three Nitro+ games. The first one being Demonbane to be followed shortly by Jingai Makyou. They said they’d both be out within 12 months… and… man that’s a tall order to fill.
I’ll talk more about it in the AX podcast that’ll be going up later tonight. Might slip to tomorrow if I need to do more… research. digiwombat on PSN if anyone wants to get shitstomped… I mean… I bought a lot of good porn. WE’LL TALK ABOUT ALL THAT LATER! Now I must do some things.
This week I answered a question! I know, it was rough. And I finally got around to reviewing The Sagara Family. You can pick up a copy by hitting this link.
And I’m not the sort of motherfucker to waste time, so here’s the podcast.
Well… I reviewed Lightning Warrior Raidy this week. Now I’m going to go punch kittens to death until I can calm down.
Oh and if anyone buys it… use this.
Holy fucking dick, I actually wasn’t lying about getting the podcast up. Haha. Yeah, life tries to keep a motherfucker down, but I WILL COME BACK STRONGER THAN EVER! Right then, enough about this. Today is a very unspecial episode in that it’s the first visual novel (eroge).
I reviewed the Peach Princess title Princess Waltz. One thing that I forgot to mention in the review was that it works fine on Vista, which was an issue for a lot of older eroge (like Yume Miru Kusuri). I didn’t get a chance to test it under Wine on Linux, so I’m not sure about that one. But enough talk. Have at you!
Well, in the world of poorly produced eroge, I think X-Change stands at the top of the English speaking heap. And being as I played through the other two sometime in my youth, I thought it would be fitting to give a look at X-Change 3. In this game we see the ever typical return of Takuya Aihara to be turned into a girl once again and we watch woefully as he gets raped towards some sort of conclusion. Now, mind you, I couldn’t have taken it upon myself to play through every path of this game, but I did what I could and that is what I did and so will be the way that I describe the game moving forward. Also, like a dumbass, I uninstalled the game before taking screens, so I will just be grabbing a few from the official site to save myself the trouble.You know, since I don’t have the pictures, I don’t think I will bother with a long drawn out review of the game. It sucked anyway.
So anyway, to cover ground fairly quickly here, you are the same idiot you’ve been the whole time and your best friend, who raped you in game 1, is trying to turn you back to a girl to marry you. You can say no to his obvious scheme in the beginning, but then the game ends, thanks for that option. So you say yes, BAM! Your idiot ass is a girl again. Get used to feeling stupid. it’s beyond your control. So moving along, I decided that this Ayano-chan would be my goal. She’s sweet and innocent and yeah. Kouji, the guy who raped you (among many), is constantly running his fucking mouth about loving you. The only saving grace for the moments he is around would be that at one point in the game you get to just beat the living fuck out of him. It made me feel really good. Anyway, so after you get womaned up, you find out that you only have seven days to turn back, and some people in the genetics lab you work in agree to help out. Lots of people from the old games show up. Not really worth mentioning. So, having played the other two to completion several times, I knew about the propensity for Takuya to get raped… a lot. I made it my silent goal to strive for lesbian sex, and lesbian sex only. Sadly, this path and the path to getting Ayano-chan didn’t match up and I was robbed of lesbian sex, except for having my stepsister force masturbate me once. And she’s a bitch. So, moving forward, I tested a couple of paths which led to me being drunk fucked by the two grossest caricatures ever, being raped in a van by two strangers, and ultimately, being raped twice by my sister and her friends.
To expound upon the sex scenes a bit, not a one of them was interesting or inspired. I’m not sure it was for lack of trying, but whoever was trying lacked the talent to carry it off in the first place. All of the sex was boring and mundane and could be seen coming a mile away. Beyond that, I came to find out that an entire sex scene was removed due to the loli nature of it, despite Peach Princess selling other such games currently. They also removed tears and blood from Ayano’s rape scene to… um… hell, I don’t know. Ask Peter Payne. I’m sure he’ll give you a bullshit answer about demographics and legal issues. Right. While the sex can be seen coming a mile away, the voice acting helps, but doesn’t do much. The sex descriptions are way better than many older games, but don’t really inspire a lot of confidence in the translators ability to think like a woman. I guess it works here since Takuya was a guy. I ended up skipping most of the sex scenes because they were highly repetitive and typical without much of any variation in moans, groans, dialogue, or theme. Rape-by-bothersome-rape Takuya loves it and slurps up forced jism with glee, leaving me feeling bored and annoyed, since rape isn’t a particularly interesting way to think about my narrative proxy. Maybe if I am delivering it, but meh. It still gets old. There is less rape on other paths, but since playing through the game against sounds about as exciting as dying, I think I will skip it.
The text in the game ranges from passable to amateur. This is pretty much par for the course for American commercial releases. If you want the real good stuff, you need to grab Japanese releases and English patches. They’re censored though, so if that’s not your thing, buy American, I guess. To move away from America bashing, I will bash the character designs. They are the same as the previous games, and Crowd makes no real attempt at reaching for a higher standard with this rounds character designs. They still look awkward, but prefessional. Sort of like the new Kanon anime at times.
Since I said I wanted to keep this short, let me render a concise verdict. This game is pretty bad. Will it get your dick up? Yes. Can you jerk to it? Absolutely. Does it amount to anything more than a cheaply produced sequel to two subpar pieces of eroge? No. More than that, it has been censored. So while I do wholly recommend that you buy a copy from JAST, I will also STRONGLY recommend that you consider others that aren’t edited. I can’t say I’m disappointed by the game, but I am disappointed by Peach Princess’s edits. The game is sort of bland and typical, but offers good value for people that aren’t looking for a compelling story, but still want to be able to move their way into the sights of a rapist without having to read between the lines. If you liked the previous two, definitely buy it. Otherwise, maybe you should steer clear of this one and aim for something a bit higher quality. I will have more reviews of eroge as I finish them, so keep a look out if you want more insight into which ones to buy.