Well… this one doesn’t go quite so well. That’s what happens when you take a random, generally crappy hentai and try to make something gold out of it. I mean, fuck sake, who wants to watch 26 minutes of people talking about nothing?! Fuck sake.
Ah well. It’s good times. Let’s make out instead of watching this. It’ll be way more fun.
Onii-chan Theatre: I Really Should Watch These First (111.2 MiB, 16,366 hits)
Well, well, well. I bet if you don’t follow me on twitter then you didn’t see this coming. You kids have probably been hungry for one of these for a little while now and since I’m a fat lazy doucher, I’ve been holding out on you. WELL NOW YOU GOT WHAT YOU WANT! Oh man, what a bunch of crap this one is. It’s clearly brain melting stuff. But hey, everybody loves milk and it does a body good so maybe that helped counteract it.
I don’t know why I feel the need to do two paragraphs for these descriptions, but I do, damnit. Just go with it. And if you’re a good little girl, I promise I’ll play with your nipples just like you like.
OH! And I moved to a new podcasting plugin, if there’s a problem, please do let me know in the comments or something.
Onii-chan Theatre: There's Not A Cabinet Big Enough (183.0 MiB, 16,441 hits)
Some of you might have been hoping for a podcast. You are aberrant forces in the world and no one likes you as a result. The rest of you will be happy that it’s an Onii-chan Threatre because it makes sure you at least get boobies to look at.
But I’ve had about enough of these cold stereotypes about my work! Why should I have to reduce myself to watching smut to entertain people? That’s why this week, we’ll be watching a wholesome film about family values in the home and positive interactions between sibling pairs. I think it will be both educational and entertaining. Edutaining, if you will. So I shouldn’t like to keep you waiting for what will surely be a fun filled romp. So enjoy. Oh, opening bit might be a little loud. And for that I apologize. Microphone issue.
Onii-chan Threatre: An Accurate Portrayal of Family Life (168.7 MiB, 10,805 hits)
Since AnimeVice lost my favorite person, I’m reposting this here. You guys will probably enjoy it more anyway. Kids these days.
Why are people after my precious forms of Japanese pornography? Why do they so desperately want to do away with the things that I love?
Well, there’s a number of reasons and I’m going to lay a number of them out for you now. Unless you stopped reading after I brought up my penis. But really, the porn brought up my penis. Awww yeah. Ok, that’s enough of that shit.
While lots of women, and a few insanely religious men, are opposed to regular old double-penetration and barely-legal teen gangbangs, a damn sight more people are quick to judge anything that wanders into the two-dimensional realm.
Now, we’re talking about Japanese 2D porn here. People think Kim Possible porn is weird because the show is for kids so people apply an amount of innocence to the characters that they didn’t necessarily ask for. As for Japanese ero art, the problem is one of familiarity.
By and large, the Western world is fairly insular and, by nature of the Judaic religions, also carries a great deal of shame and denial as relates to sexual gratification. That is to say, women put their fingers inside their vaginas, but talking about it is taboo because there’s a lot of shame attached (among other things, I’m working against the clock here).
Anyway, that combination of insularity and the inability to openly enjoy things that are sexually gratifying makes for a fairly potent reaction to something that is both borne of a foreign culture and sexually gratifying.
That might require a bit of explanation: I know there are some Europeans reading this and thinking “Hey! I’m pretty worldly,” but the fact of the matter is that you likely know less about Japanese culture than you know about ancient Greece or Egypt. That’s a pretty bold statement, I know. But it’s backed up on a daily basis when well-known bloggers who shall remain nameless make blatantly incorrect statements about a country in which they live.
It’s human nature, though. We strive for familiarity because it’s the only way we can feel comfortable. People stay in rut jobs and shitty relationships because they’re familiar. So take the fire of a completely foreign culture (no Judaic dogma, chopsticks, etc.) and throw fuel on it in the form of boobies, it sends simple minded people into a spiral of discomfort so twisting they can only start screaming for the government to make it all better for them. It’s a sad case.
While the overarching theme here is that the Judaic (we’re talking all spin offs here, not just Judaism) mindset has led to a lot of sexual shame, it doesn’t so much describe societal reactions to 2D porn so much as it explains the underlying reason people act the way they do.
The other elephant in the room is mainstream society. While pornography in and of itself is fairly mainstream, 2D porn is seen as something for nerds, weirdos, rapists, and pedophiles. Why is that?
Well, in a way it ties back to the first point about familiarity. Subcultures are, by their very nature, unfamiliar territory for the mass populace. This is one place that those of us who love the stuff which makes us all juicy aren’t doing ourselves any favors.
Yes, I am talking to you, socially inept, fat, odorous weirdo. Stop standing in the corner and breathing heavily. Will it change the stigma behind admitting that you look at 2D porn? No, not really. But it will go a long way towards making your local reactions a lot more favorable.
But that’s not the whole thing. Subcultures always have the stereotypes that go along with them. If you’re in a frat, people think you probably say bro a lot and think the shocker is the greatest sexual maneuver yet invented. If you’re black, people think you steal things. If you’re an anime nerd, you are obviously socially inept, fat, and probably scratch yourself more often than you should.
That’s sort of the problem. When you tie that anime nerd stereotype together with the pornography aspect, the person you’ve just mentioned 2D pronography to will immediately picture you as a greasy fat guy pulling one off over weird porn of girls with pink hair and a school uniform.
Too many people present an image that lends itself to that. Or they’re quick to get defensive when people think they’re fucked up for what they choose to rosin up their bow with. This is the WRONG way to go about things, kids. Believe me.
So what do you do? Act insanely casual about it. The problem here is that YOU need to be comfortable with it to act casual about it. This requires introspection. You need to know better than any person why you like the things you do. You need to understand your own sexuality. They will likely want to know because, well, who wouldn’t be curious about a guy who is so comfortable with something so insanely foreign to them? Maybe it’s not as weird as it sounds, they’ll think.
I’d briefly considered making this about the perfect setup for masturbating, but I have to leave you guys wanting, so instead I’ll give some suggestions of things you can consider, regardless of which side of the 2D porn divide you’re on.
We’ll start with the pro-hentai kids. As I said above, you need to know why you like the things you do. This sort of introspection can be applied to anything and it’s really a generally good way to grow as a person. People might be bothered that I say that in relation to porn, but they’re just shortsighted prudes anyway.
So how does one go about realizing what they like? Well, it’ll sound a bit odd and complicated, but no one picks up a guitar and knows all the chords, so shut up. You have to learn to think objectively about yourself, pretty much. Again, I know it sounds odd, but it’s helpful stuff. When you’re watching your favorite porn, you’ll notice the things that cause your brain to feel just a little bit warmer or more aroused or more relaxed or satisfied. This will likely be different things in different people, but you have to learn to recognize it for what it is if you ever hope to put words to the feelings you get from watching your eroanime. Was it the expression on the face of a girl? The detail put into the backs of a characters knees? The slight squeak that guy let out as the other guy ran up inside his choco-tube? Realize those things and remember them.
A lot of you might jump to the conclusion that this is apt to make you enjoy the porn less, but I’ve found the reaction to be somewhat the opposite. When you see those things you love, you feel closer to the eroticism. More satisfied and comfortable. It’s good times.
Now, for you haters out there. Well, maybe not haters. But skeptics. I’ll point you back to the beginning of the post. Familiarity. How familiar are you with the subject matter? How many eroanime have you watched? How many eromanga have you read? It’s something of a theme on my own site, but I’ll say it here, the more you look at something erotic, the more apt your mind is to pick up on the erotic nature. It’ll do it whether you want it to your not.
And that’s my second point. A lot of the repulsion regarding pornography stems from a lack of willingness to fully allow oneself to take part in the experience. You might consider going in with an open mind, actively looking for things you might like rather than shutting your mind off and assuming you will hate everything you see. Be honest with yourself. And remember, just because the porn you’re looking at doesn’t have anything that turns you on, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. Eroanime and eromanga span all genres and fetishes. If there’s something you think you’d like to see, it’s out there, I can promise you that.
Now, boys and girls, go put something in yourself. It’ll make you feel better.
I’d always wondered about that… but now I know.
Where have I been, you ask? Well, a couple of things. I’ve been working on putting together a publishing company, I had a week full of family interference, and it goes on and on and on. Life does that to you sometimes. Oh well! I’m back, motherfuckers (and brotherfuckers), and I will try to get back to regular updating, but as shit moves forward with the publishing stuff, I might be strapped for time.
But that’s fine, right? Because if I am not making videos, at least I’m making SOMETHING. And it’ll be something you can give me money for. BUT ENOUGH ABOUT THAT! There’s a new episode of Onii-chan Theatre and it’s chock full of zombies. Not really, but yeah. It’s probably not that funny, but that’s fine because fuck it was hot in my apartment while I was making it and honestly, the episode wasn’t as ridiculous or varied as I’d hoped it would be. Enjoy it or else. Oh and I’m working on an eroge. That’s fun.
Onii-chan Theatre: So Zombies CAN Still Get It Up (130.3 MiB, 7,594 hits)
Man, sometimes…. sometimes you come across a show that leaves you fairly speechless as to how EXACTLY to go about insulting it. Today’s show is one such show. I feel like I got on top of it towards the second half of the episode, but man, wow. What a fuckhorrible piece of animation this is. Right, well that’s enough talking. Let’s get down to business and post this motherfucker up. Please enjoy it.
Onii-chan Theatre: Super Wife Fighter II Turbo (117.0 MiB, 5,162 hits)
I can actually promise you that, being as this is an audio file, you will not see any poop this week. So have no fear! This week I answer a bunch of fun questions and talk about Icarus Publishing’s new book Scarlet Desire. Nothing in the book is red, but whatever. That’s not really important right now. Anyway, please do keep sending good questions and enjoy the podcast.
This week I will be reviewing Icarus Publishing’s new book Mazo Chichi. IS IT GOOD? IS IT CRAP? Yes to both! FOR NO REASON!
Fuck these things are boring. Just listen to the podcast for the love of all that is holy.
Ok, this week we’re treading back into bakunyuu territory, but this time it’s a bit deeper than we’ve been so far. You’ll start to see some of the characteristics that occur in some of the more hardcore bakunyuu works. This week’s pick is FULLMETAL MADNESS’s Ryuko Gekitotsu. I’ve also seen it translated as Ryuu Tora Gekitotsu. Not sure which is right, since I don’t know the kanji.
Moving along to a critique of the book, I’d say that this is a high quality work that has some problems. I mean, they’re aesthetic problems, so they vary from person to person, but, although FULLMETAL MADNESS does a lot of good bakunyuu work, I tend to take issue with the extremely baggy clothes that appear throughout this and other works of theirs. It’s a small problem, I think, but when combined with the large, shapely breasts… it can be a distraction. Being as they tend towards the bakunyuu side of things, at least in the issues I’ve seen, the scenes are often paizuri heavy. Paizuri, for the uninitiated, is titfucking. This is definitely a strong point for FULLMETAL and it works especially well considering the ability to draw emotive, expressive faces, even when covered in various fluids. The book pulls its characters from Super Robot Taisen, which might not host the sort of characters that jump to mind when pulling candidates for large breasts, but they work well in this particular book. I think the one thing that comes across better than a lot of other bakunyuu works is the softness of the breasts. It’s well captured and makes them seem extremely inviting. You really want to… you know… do stuff to them. I guess this is a bit of a problem, though, since you can’t. Just the same, it’s an extremely good book with some good comedic bits, and MANDARAKE has it now for an extremely good price, so grab a copy. You won’t be disappointed.
Needs moar community interaction. Just so you guys know, Six is hard are work… yeah, work… on the next reviews. They will be a treat, and you guys better stick around for them or I will stab your faces. FACES! Moving on to this week’s ero artist spotlight…
Right, well, remember on Wednesday when I said I was going to be moving away from the more standard stuff and get a little heavier into the fetishes? Well, I’m going to go ahead and start that trend right now with bakunyuu master, mogudan. Now, when you think of fetish art, it becomes sort of hard to believe that people can do it well, but mogudan’s thick and — shall we say — filled out ladies will draw you in. You might be saying to yourself, “Maybe I’m not into nipples you could finger and…” stop right there! Because a.) it’s hot and b.) I promise if you stop and look at these things, really take them in, then you will see what I mean when I say that it’s sexy and hot. No it doesn’t work on a normal woman, that’s the wrong perspective. The reason we’re all into 2D in the first place is the lack of reality, so indulge in it, let your mind find the eroticism in the picture you see. It’s there for sure. Now, you’ll notice that most everything on mogudan’s site is of Rei, but that’s ok. I’m not especially featuring him for the diversity (although it is a place which he is quite capable) I am linking him because he is one of the foremost talents in drawing extremely attractive and erotic bakunyuu art, and it’s on the deeper end of the bakunyuu spectrum. The detail put into the works allow you to really savor the picture and enjoy the experience, for lack of wanting to say erotic again. But most importantly, when you look at mogudan’s art, don’t just look at the picture and think about what you like. Look at the lines that their bodies form, the curves and how right they feel, and notice every indention and the softness it conveys and the beauty inherit in it. I’m sorry for getting all artful on you guys, but I don’t want this fetish to be lost on you, because it’s something of which everyone should experience the more complex sexuality. I don’t want to hear “does liking this make me fat” because I won’t say “Nah, man. You don’t have to like fatties.” I will say “So what if you do? Does it really hurt you to do so?” Recognizing the erotic nature of things is inherent and, as such, shouldn’t be shunned or turned away, but embraced and understood on a personal level. Look at bakunyuu and enjoy it and don’t consider the thoughts of others. You don’t have to tell them, let alone explain it to them. It’s your desire, embrace it! And embrace it with these sample shots before checking out his site. Be sure to click on any linked pictures for more art.