I hope you will all forgive me the horrible post title. I couldn’t help myself. Also, I hope you folks like the new layout. Be sure to let me know. And today, I will play the gender bending Onii-chan and answer a question from a girl. Now, before you guys get too excited, she might be gay. But that’s what I’m here for. Onii-chan makes it all better.

Hi Onii-Chan,

Im a girl and I like hentai especially futanari (the ones with both). I am beginning to think that 1. I am a lesbian and 2. I am a pervert. I am ashamed to talk to even my liberal friends about it. Is it okay for a girl to like hentai for the girls and not necessarily a lesbian?

A fair question! Let’s start with the first bit, as it is a fairly short answer, and work forward from there. So, firstly, no you are not a lesbian. As I have said before, in most cases I have seen, 2D fetishes come from a far different place than 3D interests, and I’ve seen a good number of cases (friends, mind you) in which there are girls that even prefer yuri hentai to other forms. It’s not uncommon for an open minded girl, by any stretch. Especially when you add the masculine aspects into the equation. So, I mean, that’s that. I don’t think you’re gay, especially if you still like dudes. Of course, if you are, that’s something you need find out for yourself anyway. Of course, there’s also being bi. Also, grabbing the last question, it’s absolutely ok for girls to like futanari and yuri and all that sort of female-centric ero and not be a lesbian.

Moving on. Are you a pervert? Well, this question… a-ha… I’d say it has two real answers depending on how you’d like to look at what a pervert is. On the outside, a lot of perverts are the sort of people who make other people uncomfortable with their own comments and actions, such as talking about sexual stuff in detail around people who clearly don’t want to know what you’re… you know… girl-jerking it to. On the other side of the coin, the things you are looking at are indeed perverse and the people you tell about them will likely consider that to be perverted. But everyone gets off to their own stuff, so it’s just a sort of innate bias that we apply to people because we want to pretend to we are above them morally or that we just don’t want to try to identify with the things they like. So that’s how that is. To me? No, you’re not a pervert. To lots of other people? Maybe so. But again, it’s no one’s business what you are in to. Sexual things are private, after all.

Let me use that to segue into the last bit I am going to discuss here. Being ashamed to talk to anyone about hentai is pretty normal. We’re part of a pretty niche group, especially when you consider futanari. I’ve personally found VERY few people who “get” futanari, so talking to friends about it is something that the more reactionary friends may take rather drastically. I could see friends thinking it’s weird and maybe not being able to get over it. But then they weren’t your friends to begin with… or whatever. Anyway, you can’t always expect people to share your fetishes (especially as diverse as the subgenres are in hentai), but if you really want to have someone to talk to about it, Six and I are around. Haha. And barring that you can always “happen” to browse to some futanari and judge their reaction. Although, some futa fans get into a habit of pretending not to like it to people so maybe test the waters subtly. If you can’t be subtle then just bring it up and say “Well, I like it.” and just stick to your guns and explain what you like about it. It’s good to try to think of specifics, as always. Things about how it’s the best of both worlds. The softness of a woman and the masculinity of a man. There’s a lot of attitude presented in lots of futa pictures, so be sure to pay attention to shots you like and thing of specifics. Confidence tends to help people swallow things they might find weird. Keep in mind, though, that this stuff is a private thing and you can always just not tell “real” friends and keep it to people online that you already know share somewhat similar interests.

As I always say, I hope this was helpful. And again, anyone who has similar stories and advice, please share it with us BECAUSE IT’S HELPFUL.

Onii-chan is getting sick of writing these damn things for himself… it would make a lot of sense for him to just make a single one to copy over and over. Well, either way, be sure to shoot him an e-mail if you have ANY questions about anything. He loves you all.

So, new layout. Took me a few hours to hack something together off of unsleepable, which is a theme… it’s got some stupid footer shit. Feel free to ignore it. The quickpoll will be up until tomorrow night and then I will pull it down and put the futanari poll back up. I guess it is Friday now in most of the world, but to hell with it, I was busy. OK?! So I will be doing my Thursday/Friday Ask Onii-chan now. Today’s question is:

Should I tell my parents that I look at hentai?

Is this a serious question, some of you might be asking? I don’t know, but hey, I will work on the assumption that it is, as I grew up in the bible belt and a lot of people felt that there were things that their parents needed to know that their parents obviously either didn’t want to know or liked to pretend their kids never did. But let me move along to the things I see as the root of this question.

I think this question is coming from the same sort of standpoint (not exactly the same) as being a closeted gay person. I think that maybe there is some burning need to express to people you care about that you feel passionately about something. I could be off base there, but that’s just the sort of vibe I get from people who generally want to seek the approval of a loved one. It does offer a very deeply ingrained form of validation to have your parents hear about things you feel strongly about and approve, but this also sort of points to what I would consider to be a general lack of independence.

As to the immediate question, no, I do not thing that you should bring this up to your parents, and the reason for this is a fairly simple reason. Ask yourself this: Do your parents WANT to know that you watch hentai? Do parents EVER want a catalogue of the pornography that their children are consuming? I highly doubt it. More to the point, if your parents are not the understanding sorts, it could lead to all sorts of home problems that just aren’t necessary. You’d be burdening yourself with something that wholly doesn’t concern your parents, much like your bedroom manner with a specific girl. Should you tell your parents that you just tried anal for the first time? No. Basically, I can’t think of a single thing either party gains from this newfound and highly intimate knowledge.

What things do I think ARE important to you to take from this answer? I would have to say that you need to consider the information flow that you share with your parents, as in the current mindset you could in up in a very, very dependent relationship with them which could lead to issues when you finally do want to break out on your own. I’ve seen firsthand the sorts of awkward situations people end up in when they don’t form a solid shield between child/parent and adult/parent relationships. I’ve known 28 year old men who get told what to do by their parents from across the country. It’s not a good state of affairs, and it’s something you will want to make sure you avoid like the plague going forward. Supposed you have very laid back parents, this advice runs a bit differently, since they will likely respect your independence to begin with.

Also, just to cover the bases here, if you actually DO insist on telling your parents, I can only say that you shouldn’t at all be surprised at odd or negative reactions and the possibility of getting into some amount of trouble if your parents are the type who run the rail against sexual interests. I would say that the best way to do the whole thing would be to bring it up in a relaxed atmosphere when the conversation could be deemed relevant. One thing I would stress above all else, however, is that you DO NOT go into any sort of detail. Do not bring up specific fetishes, do not bring up visual aids, just give a cursory overview of what the whole thing is and possibly some logically sound reasons for enjoying it (they are women who are drawn to be visually pleasing, they look much more interesting than real woman, and that sort of thing). I mean, don’t start the one man show about 2D porn. Just, if you’re probed about it, then give details. Otherwise, just mention it. If things turn south, which is possible, you will likely want to stick to a line of replies that focus on the positive aspects of WHY you brought it up, and nothing defending the art form itself. Defending the art will just dig the whole if they’re already against it. Say things along the lines of “I just wanted to tell you because it’s something that I like and has an impact on me and I wanted you, my parents, to know about me and things I am passionate about.” Again, I’d recommend against this course of action anyway. Just thought I’d give you my two cents on that, since it has certainly crossed your mind.

I hope this was helpful, and again, if anyone has any stories or comments related to this question, please feel free to post them up in the comments.

Onii-chan is, once again, writing his own thing telling you to fucking contact him and ask questions. He loves you guys, but by god you don’t send enough questions. He’ll be doing updates on Tuesdays and Thursdays if he gets questions that are good enough to answer. If he doesn’t, he’ll just say bollocks to the lot of you and go yank a rubbery one.

So, I got a few mails. A good start, but they sucked, except for one, and it will be answered now in the first installment of Ask Onii-chan. This first question is one that I think a lot of us will identify with:

How can I get my Japanese live in girlfriend to accept that I love oppai hentai??

She was vehemently opposed to 2D hentai-art when we started seeing each other so I dropped it but now im sick of sneaking a glimpse of a 2D breast on the side.

Certainly this is a painfully rough first question to ask, but I will accept this trial by fire and do my best!

I think the first thing we need to establish here is that the milage on this answer will vary from woman to woman and their own ability to be rational about what it is that you’re telling them. It is important that you have good communication in the relationship already and that you don’t feel uncomfortable having a serious discussion about the subject. Not ’sex talk with Daddy’ serious, but an objective sort of debate. Clearly, the answer here is not “I WILL WANK MY CRANK TO THIS 2D BITCH AND THAT’S THAT” or you will be sleeping outside or worse.

So, moving on to the steps of a possible solution here: Firstly, it’s important to sort of familiarize her with the subject matter. Being as she’s Japanese, there’s a fair chance she knows part of the score. This is both good and bad as she may already have ideas about the sort of people who like hentai. The important part in this early sort of stage is going to be differentiating yourself from the perverts on the train every day. You want to give her context. The best idea here, I think, would be to sort of casually browse boards you know have some scantily dressed ladies that don’t go overboard. It’s a good defense tactic as you’re NOT looking at porn, but it can also be a way to open up conversation.

The main conversational point here is going to be “Why are you into that 2D crap anyway?” to which you can have a few replies, but this is why it needs to be sort of a debate. I’d recommend countering with a question to get the heat off of you and steer it into an actual conversation. Ask her what she finds so repulsive about it or what have you and lead into things about the baseline of male nature that sort of unconsciously draws us towards things that are specifically patterned to represent the ideal female form, or really most any female form. (Sorry ladies, it’s true.) Making assertions about females in this space is going to be risky and you’ll likely want to bite your tongue about any of it. Seriously, don’t be manly. “Manly” men don’t watch anything animated. I checked.

Anyway, moving on from this point, it sort of becomes a time thing. Just keep browsing and logically explain your case to her. Now, you may want to adopt my ideology about 2D which has helped me with girls more than once. Allow me to explain:

In my own time of enjoying 2D girls and anime and hentai and finding their females to be utterly entrancing at times, I have come to realize that what I like and look for in a 2D girl comes from a drastically different area of my brain than does that for 3D girls. They are not one in the same, and it’s something that girls can be very sensitive about as they may feel like the 2D girls are cutting into your passion for them. If this is the case, then you ARE wrong, and you should just be single. Seriously. If it is indeed like my case, you will find that the ability to enjoy, without fear of reprisal, your erotic 2D of choice can, in fact, ENHANCE your libido towards your significant other. I know it might seem weird to the ladies, but guys know what I mean. While women often see hentai as a replacement, it is more often a safe way to fulfill desires that 3D women simply CAN NEVER fulfill due to the rather static nature of the human form. I think that this release helps men to then properly concentrate on the ideals that we chose our 3D partner for without the hindrance of having 2D fetishism on the brain.

Again, this might vary from guy to guy, but I think it is a fairly common thing among 2D fans. We do love the 3D women we have for who and what they are, but there is a simple fact there that we do not find ONLY those women to be attractive. Personally, if I get the release of my 2D fetishes then I don’t much care for 3D women other than the one I am currently with, and it serves, in my mind, to highlight the reasons that I chose her. But back to the topic.

Hopefully that stuff I said up there rings a bit true, as it will give you the bulk of your reassuring discourse to hand to your girlfriend. Again, milage may vary, and don’t expect a magic bullet. These things take time, of course. However, let me be VERY clear that if you are just wanting 2D women to the point that you are neglecting your girlfriend, then you have some problems that aren’t very likely to be sorted out with talking and you should maybe start looking for someone who lights up your life in a way that 2D is something you enjoy, but the same rings true for your girlfriend.

And no, there is no girl pretty enough to make 2D not matter. Like I said before, this isn’t something we just decide to like. It’s something that arouses us on a very base level, and always will. The girl we are with doesn’t matter, it’s as much a part of the life of a hentai lover as cars or “normal” porn are to the football playing macho men.

Let me do a quick rundown of all of that again just to cover things concisely, as well as hit some other short points:

1. Differentiate yourself from the common pervert. Remind her that you are you and not a train groper.
2. It takes time and patience. You can’t rush a woman to understanding this idea. Just be calm and intelligent about it.
3. If you are not properly tending to your girlfriend, RECONSIDER YOUR RELATIONSHIP.
4. Understand your own enjoyment of hentai so that you can better explain it to her, since she hates it to begin with.
5. If she gets mad, DO NOT get angry with her. This is your own thing and it’s not something she HAS to be comfortable with, especially right away.
6. Avoid sexist (against women, man.) comments at all costs. It will make the entirely wrong argument.
7. Don’t just drop the bomb on her. You HAVE to ease this idea in if she hates it to begin with.
8. Lastly, be extremely happy that you aren’t into loli or futanari, because that shit is an uphill battle, even as hentai goes. Seriously.

So there you go. I’ve done my best to answer this one without personally knowing your girlfriend. You need to ease in THE ENTIRE hentai idea and then if oppai comes up in conversation, you need to be ready to explain what it is about it. The soft look, the subtle curves, the depiction of pale skin next to the nipple and of course all the sorts of things you can think of. Be matter of fact and don’t catch a nose bleed while describing it. It’ll make you seem like a lecherous old man.

I hope this has helped out, and if it didn’t explicitly, I hope it has at least given you some ideas to consider when starting the discussion. If not, my apologies. Thanks for the great question to start off what I hope will be a great new feature of the site. Please feel free to comment and add your own experiences as that shit is fun. YOU KNOW?

Anyone can ask Onii-chan anything. Just drop him a line via the Ask Onii-chan contact page and he will either answer the question to you directly, or will post it up on the site for everyone to see… minus personal information, of course. This paragraph was written by Onii-chan in the third person. He feels sort of dirty now.